Tag Archives: opening
19
Mar

Anatomy of an Empath Part III

Most would argue that empathy is a good thing, and of course it is. When we’re hurting and a friend acts in a way that communicates that they know what we are going through, we feel loved. Empathy is an essential part of the development of healthy attachment in babies and in strong adult relationships as well. Most studies on empathy, therefore, look for how we can develop more.

For empaths, developing more empathy is not the problem; managing our overwhelmed nervous systems in the face of others’ suffering, is. As it turns out, most of us are not very good this.

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12
Mar

Anatomy of an Empath Part II

PART II

7. This is Who You Are

In 2010 I remembered again. It was one of those “burning-bush” moments when God revealed itself to me—the kind that I tell my students not to look for.

Why? Because the Divine doesn’t usually speak to us this way, and looking for it is a distraction. The Sacred lives in the subtle. The quieter we become, the easier it is to hear the “small, still voice” within. But we’ve become conditioned to ignore the small, still voice, and look for the sonic boom. We expect our spiritual experiences to mimic the pace of adrenalized movies. Our brains want jump cuts and dopamine hits, and those of us who are spiritual seekers sometimes become addicted to peak experiences, breakthroughs, and intensity. We expect God to crack us over the head with a 2 x 4, and sometimes it does happen that way. Usually when we are too stubborn to pay attention to the small, still voice within.

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02
Mar

Anatomy of an Empath Part I

1. Remembrance

In the shower this morning I remembered who I am.

Funny how we forget. And remember. And forget. And remember. It’s designed that way.

I often remember when I am in the shower. Something about the water. And the non-linear focus. And the letting go.

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23
Nov
06
May

After Ecstasy the Laundry: Me So Sexy

I have a confession to make: I still have a paper calendar. I’m not a luddite per se, I just like the physicality of it, and being able to see the whole month at once, and the pretty orange inkblot design on the cover.

I have a ritual that I perform every January. I go through my calendar and map out what’s important to me. I put in my vacations, my yoga classes, my self-care time, the days I’ll be working on my dissertation, the hours I’ll be with clients, and the weekends I run my trainings. Of course I leave room for spontaneity and the element of surprise as well (who knows when I might be whisked off to Brazil by a new lover :)). But there’s something about attending to the structure of what’s important that relaxes me and creates space for the magic to unfold.

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10
Mar

Turning to Face the Fire

I have a vulnerable confession: Even though I help healers embody their Sacred Purpose, I have been distracting myself daily from mine.

In many ways, I am precisely on path. I help clients unwind trauma and embody their souls. I lead trainings and ceremonial events for healers that move and inspire me. But what do I really want to be doing, more than anything, in the realm of my Purpose? Writing.

And am I doing it? No.

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18
Oct
07
Nov

Choosing Love

sparklehands
Several years ago, I went through a four-year, dark-night-of-the-soul initiation of chronic physical illness, where I had everything stripped from me—my ability to function, my work in the world, many of my friends, and who I knew myself to be. I was in a free fall of uncertainty, and when I spiraled down to the bottom what was left was the Divine.

It was this relationship that sustained me.

In recent years, in my work as a somatic psychotherapist, healer, and guide, I’ve come to learn an essential lesson that’s made all the difference in my life: When “I” try and “heal” anyone from my own personal will, I end up feeling burnt out, exhausted, frustrated, and burdened from having taken on their “stuff.”

When on the other hand, I partner with the Divine, when I stop doing and start surrendering to that larger force of grace that has the ability to transform everything, miracles occur.

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22
Oct

Cleaning Up My Act

i_always_open_my_heart_by_lovelypickle-d4bhvds
I have something to reveal to you. Something that people are always surprised by when they first get to know me: I’m a bit of a mess.

Not my inner world, mind you. Although I’m not perfect, I’ve spent years cultivating clarity, healthy boundaries, integrity, connection with the divine, self-love, patience, empathy, compassion, and many other important inner-world staples.

I’m talking about my outer world. I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but my kitchen, for example, is a wreck. There’s a build up of gunk on my electric burners. A spider has made its home in the shelves above my fridge. And there are weeds, I kid you not, growing through the wall underneath my sink. Mostly I keep the cupboard doors closed and pray that the hole in the wall will somehow magically go away. It hasn’t yet, but I keep praying.

But something’s changing. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve had a strong internal impulse to clean up my act.

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08
Sep

Cracked Open

cracked-open
On Tuesday, I fell in the shower and cracked my tailbone… and it was one of the most sacred experiences I have ever had.

Let me explain.

I was groggy, not yet awake, and my mind was spinning. The night before I had had thick dreams about being on trial. My attorney had abandoned me right when it was my time to defend myself and I felt betrayed. I woke up hung-over with fear. I knew something big was unraveling inside of me, and it had to do with my relationship to victimhood.

I got in the shower that morning, barely back in my body, and realized, once the water was running, that my handsoap was on the sink. I stepped out to get it, slipped, and whoosh — landed smack on my tailbone.

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