If you are living in a body on the planet right now chances are you are feeling it–the chaos and reordering of the liminal time. We are in the “not yet,” between summer and fall, between what was and what will be. Astrologically, it is eclipse season, where the shadow gets brought into the light. There is also, astrologically speaking, a cosmic re-ordering of the relationship between the masculine and the feminine (both within ourselves and in relationships). And in the Jewish calendar we are in the 10 holy days, between the end of one year and the beginning of another. You get the picture, it is a potent, potent time.
It is also a heightened time of loss for many of us, with sudden deaths, the endings of relationships, and letting go’s that we hadn’t anticipated.
And although we would never consciously choose it, when our heart breaks it always makes room for more light to pour through (thanks Leonard Cohen). And so this is also a time of GREAT opportunity–to drop into ourselves, to reach beyond who we’ve believed ourselves to be, to invite what is larger than us to take root, to let go of the defenses and old habits that are no longer serving, and to give ourselves, whole-heartedly, to what is most important, love.
So in service of that I have a gift for you, a poem channeled from the Divine in my own moments of darkness.
Love Poem from God
You were never meant to be alone here
It is true
on this path you must go into the darkness
where you left parts of yourself behind
and collect them
small broken mirrors
each reflecting me
but you were never meant to be alone here.
That was a trick of the fog
of the corners you rounded in a hurry
to get back to me.
That was the story you told yourself
when you felt the shock of the cold water
and the heaviness closing in.
But I am not not anywhere.
through the calligraphies of fear
through the muscles and fascia
into the way your heart clutches at your rib cage
through the tight spaces
and the pain
to that stillness at the center.
I am there.
In the eyes of the one you fear
in the heart of the one you hate
in the body of the demon you are too afraid to name.
No one can save you now
but you do not need saving
those cords are useless here
frayed from holding on so tight
let them go.
You won’t find me in your thoughts.
Let gravity pull you down.
You can not stay above the darkness for long
you are a priestess of the tribe meant to walk through the fire
and be burned
meant to let the rough edges of love carve you down
to what is most essential.
The tribe meant to be cracked open and stripped
until nothing is left but the clear, bright center
the impossible radiance of love.
Do not be confused
this pain is not a punishment
you are no martyr
that was the old path
the one long since overgrown.
Pain is simply a portal
to your own
a doorway to the place
You have not been abandoned here
except by the one who ran away
to look for the light
the one who forgot
that you came here for this
Take the next step
and the next
feel your foot on the wood
the way your sacrum moves
the shape you make as you pull up against gravity
but gravity has your back
There is no where to hide
© Sweigh Emily Spilkin
That’s all for now, love. Be gentle with yourself during this time of transition.
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